Tag: Henry

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Climb Every Mountain

“Love is looking at the same mountains from different angles.”
– Paulo Coehlo

We are in love with Toggenburg. After a week of looking at these mountains morning and night, on skis and by foot, from the valleys and from the peaks, we are sad to be leaving. To be honest, we were already familiar with the grandeur of the Berner Oberland and the Wallis, the Alpine regions nearest to our home. When we first arrived in Eastern Switzerland, we were skeptical of how it would compare. We admit it. We had become mountain snobs.

But it turns out this is yet another beautiful corner of Switzerland. Toggenburg is a string of towns in a valley not far from the border with Lichtenstein and Austria. We have spent the past few days enjoying much of what the region has to offer. For starters, we took advantage of our location and visited the tiny country of Lichtenstein. We took the relatively short and scenic bus ride to Vaduz, the capital of Lichtenstein. We walked around the town, enjoying its beautiful vinyards, cobblestone streets, cliffside castle, and views of the surrounding mountians. Not suprisingly, Lichtenstein feels liks a combination of Switzerland, southern Germany, and Austria. There isn’t much in the way of tourist attractions, so the highlight of our visit was our picnic lunch on a small grassy knoll where the kids had a chance to run around and play before we headed back home.

We are staying at a Swiss holiday village that is specifically for families (Reka Feriendorf). It has a few nice benefits including a pool, playrooms for kids, and a children’s program where you can drop your kids off for supervised activities (Rekalino). It makes for a great vacation that everyone can enjoy. Our kids had dinner at the Rekalino on Wednesday night, so Joe and I had a night out, or rather a night in, all to ourselves. We did plenty of swimming and playing between our other adventures.

Speaking of adventures, Thursday and Friday were our skiing days. We rented our equipment and took the whole family up the first chairlift. Joe and I took turns skiing with the older kids and hanging around with Henry and the sled. It was yet another beautiful day. So beautiful that the snow was pretty wet, and the snow levels were getting dangerously low in some places. Emily and James have really become quite good considering they’ve only skied a handful of times. They are working on keeping their skis straight sometimes (“french fries”) and spreading them out (“pizza slice”) to turn and break. They are handling medium runs like champs.

Friday morning, the kids went to Rekalino again so Joe and I could have a chance to ski together. We made it all the way back up to the Top of Toggenburg above the town of Unterwasser. Then we skied an unforgettable run all the way back down to the town of Wildhaus. It had incredible views and lots of different terrain including wide snowy slopes and narrow trails along the side of a cliff. Whatever you do, stay between the orange poles! In the afternoon, I took Emily and James skiing again while Joe stayed back with Henry. Emily loved to ski back and forth down the slopes singing the Abba song, “I Had a Dream.”

In a way, this whole week was like a dream.

Check out our Sport week pictures here.

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Henry Benry

Henry turned two the month before we left for Europe. We have always wondered whether he will remember any of this experience. While the rest of us are immersing ourselves in the language, having cultural experiences, and learning new things, Henry is pretty much oblivious. He has been to Oktoberfest in Munich, skied in the Swiss Alps, and so much more! And yet, here is a conversation I had with him the other day:

Henry loves Legoland“Henry, where do we live?”

“America!”

“Well… where do we live right now?”

“Um, Minnesota?”

“No.”

“At home.”

“Yes, but where is our home?”

(Blank stare)

“Is it in Switzerland?”

“Oh yeah! Switzerland!”

Hmmmm. So, not only will Henry not remember his year in Switzerland, he doesn’t even really understand it as it is happening. However, he has had a big year in his own two-year-old sort of way. He went from a pretty limited vocabulary, to speaking in complete sentences, repeating and incorporating everything he has heard and making us all laugh. “Hey dad, you wanna hear something? It’s super cool and funny!”

This week, Henry finally got out of his pack-n-play that he has been sleeping in for the past 6 months. We figured it was time since he could no longer lay down in it without his head being wedged in the corner. Not that he was complaining. He usually slept all curled up like a snail with his butt up in the air. But, he immediately took to his “big boy bed,” and when we checked on him the first night, he was sprawled out on his back with his legs stretched out and his arms above his head. I was so happy for him!

The second morning in his new bed I went in to get him up, but his bed was empty. The covers were bunched up on the floor, so I lifted them up expecting to see him there. But he wasn’t. I listened, and I could hear breathing. So I bent down and looked under the bed, and there he was, sleeping peacefully. And this was at 8:30am. I don’t know what we did to deserve this, but he is an awesome sleeper!

This morning was Henry’s second time at Spielgruppe. It translates as “play group,” but it is a sort of short-term, in-house day care for 2 – 4 year olds. Henry gets to go to Ursula’s apartment for 2 hours every Friday morning. Last week didn’t go so well. Of course, all the other children speak Swiss German. The teacher speaks a few words of English for Henry. But, all of a sudden he was completely on his own in unfamiliar surroundings and couldn’t understand what people were saying. I imagine he felt a lot like the rest of us felt 6 months ago, and the way a two-year-old deals with that feeling is by crying for his mommy.

But, with a little help, he did really well this week. When I picked him up at the end of Spielgruppe, he said, “Mommy, I didn’t cry!” And who knows, at his age he might still be able to absorb some of the language from this exposure. He is a fast learner.

[singlepic id=705 w=320 h=240 float=right]In fact, since our earlier conversation, he now likes to ask, “Hey dad, where do we live?” That is our cue to say, “I don’t know, Henry. Where do we live?” He gets a big smile on his face and says, “Switzerland!”

There is just one more big project for Henry this year: potty training.

We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

 

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Over the Hump

This past weekend we were lucky enough to be invited to stay with some friends of ours who have a house in the mountain town of Lenk, during which we got “over the hump” both physically and metaphorically. See, we have been debating about whether our family is really cut out for skiing at this stage. Emily and James have had virtually no experience, and our first effort over Christmas was not enjoyable for anyone. But, the family we stayed with has been coming to this valley and skiing their whole lives. So, we had no choice but to go with the flow.

On Saturday morning we all got geared up and headed over to the first ski area. They even had skis in Henry’s size and insisted he should suit up with the rest of us. We got to the top of the lifts, and skied down the first hill. I was holding Henry, who was screaming the whole way down. He was pretty much done for the day. But everyone else took off with enough adults to help. After lunch I got to ski down with Emily (holding her between my legs for most of a medium run) until we got to the kids area or “bunny hill,” as my family calls it. We skied for a couple more hours, with the adults taking turns staying with the kids. This was far longer than we have ever managed before. By the end of the day, the kids had made a lot of progress, but we were all pretty exhausted. Fortunately, there was a gondola to take us back down the hill and a great swimming pool complex where Joe and I took all the kids to unwind.

That night, another family joined us at the house, so there were two Swiss families with spouses from Sweden and Namibia and us. Everyone mostly spoke English, but we understood what they said in Swiss German as well. They complimented our kids, and even us, on our ability with the language. We kept up with a conversation about Swiss cultural quirks and compared the virtues of the two primary Swiss grocery store chains. Though it seems small, I felt like we had really gotten over a cultural “hump” and were no longer the outsiders.

On Sunday, we were off again. After a scary ride up an icy mountain road on which the direction of the one-way traffic changes every half hour, we made it to the ski area on the other side of the valley. I stayed in with Henry and played in the snow for most of the morning, and Joe was able to take both Emily and James on his own and help them as they skied independently. This was huge! They had clearly gotten over a critical hump in their ability, and they started to become more confident.

After lunch, Lorenz offered to stay with our kids so Joe and I could explore a bit. We literally went over the mountain and down to Adelboden in the valley on the opposite side. We humiliated ourselves on a black run that was directly below one of the busiest chair lifts, but fortunately no one was hurt, so we’ll just gloss over that. Otherwise, we had a wonderful time and returned to our kids just as the lifts were starting to close down. The mountain had mostly cleared out, and this time there was no gondola to ride down. The only way to get to the car was to ski down the mountain.

Lorenz was nice enough to carry Henry down (we didn’t even bother to put his skis on anymore). Joe and I followed with the other kids, and I am proud to say that they did a great job. We were the only people on the mountain as we snowplowed slowly back and forth down the slope. My heart was swelling as I watched my kids skiing on their own as the sun was setting behind the mountains across the valley. It was a moment I will never forget.

So maybe, just maybe, we can be a skiing family after all.

Photos of our skiing weekend.

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It’s the Little Things – Movies and Kissing

Last night Joe came home from work and said that our friend Lorenz wanted to go to a movie. He was going to see Mission Impossible 4, which is not really Joe’s favorite kind of movie, so instead he came home and said he would stay with the kids if I wanted to go out. Are you kidding me! It was like a miracle. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed at how much I wanted to go out! You would think seeing an American movie in an urban movie theater would be a familiar experience, but once again, it was the little things that made it a cultural experience.

Movies

Surprisingly, the concession stand wasn’t even open when we arrived a few minutes before the start of the movie. My desire for a bubbly beverage was squashed. Oh well. We walked into the theater, and he led me to our assigned row and numbered seats. Yes, there were reserved seats at the movie theater, instead of first-come-first served seating, which seemed to make a lot of sense. Then, Lorenz informed me that there would be an intermission. Really? Sure enough, right as Tom Cruise was about to jump out a window of the tallest building in India, the screen went dark and the lights came up.

Fortunately this meant I could get my drink after all. I ordered a clear soda, and got a mineral water – something I am slowing growing to appreciate. Lorenz ordered a Rivella, an extremely popular Swiss soda that comes in three color varieties. He got Red. Oh, and the drinks don’t come in giant cups with a straw and lots of ice. In fact, you almost never get ice in Switzerland. If you ask for ice in your drink at a restaurant, the waiter usually looks worried, and then you get one or two cubes in a cup. In any case, at the movie theater, they simply handed us 16 oz bottles of our bubbly beverages, and we returned to our seats for the rest of the movie.

The movie was shown in the original English, which was great for me. But, in Switzerland there is not just one set of subtitles, but two – German on top and French on the bottom. Oh, and when the characters were speaking in Russian, then there were three lines, and I had to read the middle one. Once I adjusted to this, it was no problem, and we had a great night out.

Kissing

You’ve probably seen or encountered the European custom of cheek kissing, either on screen or in person. I think of it as being very French, but it occurs in many countries. I never thought much of it, but when you are confronted with it face to face, literally, it can be a little awkward. Think about it. Where do you put your hands? Which side do you kiss first? How many kisses – 2 or 3? If you do any of these things wrong, you can end up in a really embarrassing situation with someone whose face is one inch away from yours!

Fortunately, in Switzerland there is still a lot of hand shaking. And I do mean a lot. There is a custom of shaking hands with everyone at a party or gathering when you arrive, and again before you leave. This still occurs at a lot of meetings and social gatherings, even choir practice. Though in my experience, there is a limit of about 10 people before the greetings just get too cumbersome and stop.

Cheek kissing is reserved for people who are more than passing acquaintances. In a way that makes it even more confusing. Which greeting should I do!? There are just a small handful of people who have initiated this greeting with me. And, after some slightly embarrassing trial and error, I have learned that three kisses starting to the left side (right cheek) is customary here.

Though my favorite cheek kisser is Henry. He just puts his lips to my cheek and says “mmmmaa.” And it always makes me smile, no matter how many mistakes I’ve made that day.

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Small Christmas Miracles

James has been having a bit of a difficult Christmas. He’s admitted to being pretty homesick, and I think that the holidays coming on were making him think more of home. More than that, though, James became convinced this year that Santa wasn’t real. And this wasn’t just a fleeting thought. He would argue about it. He would yell at his sister about it. He would get upset when anyone suggested otherwise.

So Sarah and I talked to him. We pulled him aside and said we thought it was fine if he didn’t want to believe in Santa Claus. He told us that he thought we were the ones who brought presents on Christmas. We told him that was true. But we also told him that it was important to his younger brother and older sister that Santa really existed. So we said that, for now, we would not discuss whether Santa existed in front of Emily and Henry, unless they wanted to talk about it too. He was OK with that.

Then we went on our Christmas Vacation in the Alps and a few small things happened. First, while enjoying our presents on Christmas Eve, a small bell rang from the next room, when the kids went in they found a few more presents and evidence that the Christkind had been there.

Santa's note on our tree
Santa's note on our tree

That night, at dinner, the Weihnachtsmann visited. The kids were suspicious of this man, but he pulled me aside, and asked me if I knew an Emily and James. I told him I did. He handed me two packages and told me that they contained a very special Swiss treat only for boys and girls who were ready to accept them. The Weihnachtsmann had singled out Emily and James.

Finally, when we arrived home in Münsingen, we found our fireplace open. There were bootprints and ashes around our tree. James detected hoof prints in the backyard. Most importantly, there were presents under our well-cared for and watered Christmas tree. There was also a note on the tree that read:

Dear Emily, James, and Henry,

I hope you had a great Christmas in the mountains. I told my friend Christkind to visit you there. But I couldn’t leave out any of my American children around the world, so I brought a few things to your home in Switzerland.

See you next year back in Milwaukee!

Love,
Santa

P.S. I hope you don’t mind – the reindeer were very thirsty from the long trip, so they took a drink from your pond.

The Kids can't believe that Santa came!
The Kids can't believe that Santa came!

James, Emily, and Henry all jumped around the room yelling that they couldn’t believe it! Santa had come to visit them in Switzerland. James told Sarah and I that he couldn’t believe that he was wrong about Santa. Then he told us he couldn’t believe that we were wrong about Santa, too.

We agree. How amazing it can be to believe again.

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Winter Wonderland

Our real Alpine vacation started after all the Christmas festivities were over. We had spent most of the weekend celebrating indoors, so when we awoke on Monday to a beautiful blue sky day, we had to take advantage of it. There are a lot of winter sports in this area, including downhill skiing, cross country skiing, snow shoeing, ice skating, and sledding. We decided to start slow, so we bundled everyone up, rented an additional sled and headed to the nearby gondola.

A the top of the mountain, we had to hike over to the top of the sled run, darting across ski slopes with downhill skiers rushing past. When we came to a section with a downward slope, we crammed 5 people onto 2 sleds and rode down to the chalet by the Öschinensee, a beautiful alpine lake nestled among the mountains at 5177 feet. It was at this point that we realized we still had a long ways to go to the bottom of the mountain, and that sledding in the Alps is not really a slower choice after all.

The next section of the sled run is incredibly steep and follows a ravine which is not blocked by any kind of fencing. We flew down, jamming our heels into the snow as hard as we could, which only slowed us down to 50 mph from 60 mph. Joe and Emily, who had a significant lead, tanked first. And just as they were brushing themselves off and getting back on the sled, I flew by with the boys screaming at the top of their lungs. Seconds later, we also wiped out, mostly becuase it was the only way I could find to stop the sled before crashing into a tree or going over the edge. Just ahead of us was a 120 degree turn onto a narrow bridge over a mountain stream. But, after a few more harrowing turns, the trail calmed down a bit, so that we could at least look up occasionally and enjoy the scenery as we were whizzing past it.

We decided it wouldn’t be prudent to bring Henry on that run again, but the other kids were willing to give it another go. So, we took turns doing it again, with a little more success on the second round.

That night, we slowed way down, and walked over to the lighted toboggan run (Schlittenbahn) in town, which is a fairly straight and well groomed run with lights strung above it. We went down it a couple of times, and then walked back to the hotel under the stars for a dinner of traditional Fondue and Raclette.

Tuesday morning started our skiing adventure. Joe took the older kids up the mountain for their first ski lesson while Henry and I stayed back and hiked and sledded in the valley. Emily and James struggled quite a bit to keep their skis from crossing, they fell down a lot, they worked hard getting across flat areas, and they came back sweaty and exhausted. When I asked them how it was they said, “Great!”

With their first lesson under their belts, we figured we could take them out the next morning on our own. So we got up early and took the whole family up to a quieter, easier mountain on the other side of town. It turns out, this was not a good idea. Although the scenery was beautiful and we snapped a couple of cute pictures, do not be decieved. It was an unmitigated disaster. I could write a whole post about the next three hours of skiing (if you can call it that), but I don’t really want to remember it. Let’s just say that skiing with young beginners is extremely hard work. There was a lot of yelling and whining, though no crying, which puts us ahead of most of the other beginner families we saw. But, technically, we can all say that we have skied in the Swiss Alps.

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Christmas in the Alps

Spending Christmas away from family is a difficult thing. Every present we opened that had been shipped across the ocean was simultaneously exciting and depressing. We Skyped with many of our family members, which is bitter sweet. It was wonderful to see everyone and share holiday greetings, but hanging up (sometimes with tears) brought us back to our quiet hotel room again. But, since we are staying in a lovely hotel in Kandersteg, Switzerland in the heart of the Berner Oberland surrounded by the Alps, there are many beautiful things and new experiences to keep our minds from dwelling on home, and make this a Christmas to remember.

On Christmas Eve, the hotel had a torchlight walk through the woods. So, as the sunlight was fading away behind the mountains, we gathered with an international group of fellow guests, plopped Henry on his sled (his primary mode of transportation for the week), and received our flaming torches. Even Emily and James were given torches, along with a short lecture about fire safety. There was a light snow falling as we paraded toward the woods and away from the lights of the town, until we found ourselves among snow covered evergreen trees, with only torches to light our way. After a short walk, we stopped in a clearing and enjoyed some glühwein for the adults and hot apple cider for the children, before returning to the hotel.

We had a lovely, 4-course Christmas Eve dinner in the hotel dining room, including cream of walnut soup, duck breast, and gingerbread ice cream. After dinner the Weihnachtsmann (German for Santa) came to visit all the children in the lobby and handed them each a small stocking filled with Swiss chocolate. This was something the hotel arranged for its primarily British clientele.

The Christmas tradition in Germany and Switzerland is for the Christkind, or Christ Child, to bring presents on Christmas Eve. Often represented by an angel, the Christkind comes when no children are in the room, and rings a bell to call them back, though the children never actually see him. So, back in our hotel room, the kids were playing with some of the toys they had received earlier that day when a bell rang in their bedroom. They looked at each other quizzically and then jumped up to see what it could be. They opened the door and there was a rush of cold air from an open window, which they looked out to catch a glimpse of a present-bearer, but there was no one there. Then they noticed some gifts left in the room, which they immediately got to open. It was our first visit from the Christkind.

We struggled to get the kids into their pajamas and said a prayer for our families so far away. We fell asleep to the ringing of church bells at the small alpine church next door calling worshipers to midnight mass.

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The Infamous Onion Market

The Bern Onion Market or Zwiebelmarkt is infamous, at least in this area of Switzerland. Of course, we had never heard of it, but we had been told we had to check it out. I wasn’t exactly sure what could be so great about an onion market that takes place on a Monday from 6am – 6pm. But, I packed up the boys, picked Emily up at school and headed to the train station.

As the kids and I got off the train in Bern, we noticed confetti all over the floor of the platform, and throughout the train station. When we stepped off the escalator into the streets of Bern, they were covered with confetti as far as I could see. I was still taking it in and trying to figure out which way to go when a total stranger came up and threw confetti all over us. Once we were covered, we started to join in the fun, scooping confetti off the street and throwing it at each other, and anyone else who seemed willing. (Though we later learned that using street confetti is frowned upon, and we bought a bag of fresh confetti).

The market itself consists of thousands of stands throughout the streets of Bern’s old town. The majority of them sell — you guessed it — onions. But not just any old onions. Perfectly proportioned yellow and red onions that have been tied together with dried flowers into hanging decorations. They come in any size you could want, from tiny ones made with the smallest bulbs to huge ones hanging over 5 feet tall. Some were made into wreaths. The kids even got little onion pins.

Besides onions, you could also buy necklaces made out of breath mints wrapped in colorful plastic wrap, festival items like confetti and squeaky hammers, seasonal baked goods like magenbrot, and food stands selling onion cakes and glühwein (Swiss mulled wine), among many other things. Emily opted for a blue mint necklace, while James chose a confetti gun, and of course I had to buy a small bunch of onions.

The streets were crammed with people, and we walked around getting bonked with toy hammers and covered in confetti. It is said that this is the one day when Bern, a city that is thought of as reserved and a little uptight, lets off some steam and goes a little crazy. I realized it would be too difficult to try to eat downtown with all the crowds and three young kids, so we made our way back to the train station and headed home for dinner.

When it was time for bed, and I was getting Henry into his pajamas, I took off his diaper and it was filled with confetti! We did our best to shake off as much as we could, but it keeps turning up in pockets, purses, hoods. We can now say that we have experienced the phenomenon that is the Berner Zwiebelmarkt.

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Q & A – The Daily Grind

Most of our posts are about our weekend excursions and interesting aspects of our life abroad. But, that’s not really representative of our daily life. That’s because our daily life isn’t nearly as fun to write about. Joe goes to work, Emily and James go to school, and Henry and I stay home and take care of everything else. But, I’ve gotten some questions about our daily life, so here’s a little Q&A. If you have any other questions about Switzerland or life abroad, feel free to send them to us.

How DO you manage without a car? Are you basically house-bound or do you and Henry get out with the bike much? I am certainly not house-bound. Henry and I have gotten very adept at getting around on the bike. Every morning during the few hours that the older kids are at school, I plunk Henry in his trailer and off we go. Without a car and with the limited time we have, we are usually limited to our town. I have about a mile radius in which I live most of my days. But, within that distance is: 3 grocery stores, butcher shop, farm where we get our milk, café with toys for kids, playgrounds, library, music class, choir practice, restaurants, walking trails, the Aare river, train station, and more. There is actually quite a bit to explore in our little town, and I’m getting to know it really well. This morning, for example, we went to the third grocery store, stopped at a bakery (my first time at both of those places), and then went to the farm for milk, potatoes and a sugar beet (not sure what I’m going to do with that last one yet!) It’s pretty cold out, but a lot of people are still biking around here. If I don’t feel like biking, I can turn Henry’s trailer into a stroller and walk. And, if the weather is much worse, there is a bus stop about a block from our house that takes me around town.

Do you have to go grocery shopping almost every day? The main items we need to buy on a regular basis are bread and milk. The bread here is all fresh, bakery bread that lasts about 36 hours before turning rock hard. And the milk we get at the farm is sold in liters, not gallons, and it isn’t pasteurized. So, I do a big grocery trip about twice a week. (“Big” being only whatever I can carry home in the back of the bike trailer.) We go to the farm every other day, and Joe often stops somewhere on his way home from work to pick up some fresh bread or other small items.

You said the kids were watching Spongebob Schweitzmer or something, so does that mean you have a TV, or were they watching online? First, in German, it’s called Spongebob Schwamkopf, which translates as “Spongebob Sponge Head” (“Spongebob Square Pants” has too many syllables in German.) Thanks to the internet and Joe’s savviness with technology, we have a whole collection of ways to watch TV. We have a regular TV that shows Swiss/German programming. The older kids like to watch Nickelodeon in German, but otherwise we really don’t use it. Then, we have several ways of watching English programming, some that are on the TV and some on our computers over the internet. Henry’s current favorite show is Dinosaur Train. Joe bought a special package from Yahoo! Sports so he can watch NFL games, especially the Packers. Sometimes it’s nice to turn on a favorite show and forget that I am in a foreign country for a while.

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Cats and Dogs

There are a lot of animals in our neighborhood. Within a few blocks of our house there are a lot of cats, some dogs, horses, cows, goats, chickens, and even a couple of pigs. We see several of these on a daily basis, and it has become part of our life here. What I find interesting is how differently the Swiss treat different animals.

Those who have dogs seem to always have their dogs with them. They bring dogs to the grocery store, where there is a “doggie hotel” [singlepic id=608 w=320 h=240 float=right]right outside the main doors with little open cubbies for the dogs to rest in while they wait for their owners to complete their shopping. Dogs seem to be allowed just about everywhere, including in cafes and on the trains. It is also impossible to miss all the “Robidog” stations along the sidewalks and paths in town. These are green metal boxes with a hilarious picture on them that have rolls of plastic bags so dog owners can easily dispose of their dogs’ business when they are out on a walk. There are also signs in many areas requesting that dogs stay on their leashes.

Meanwhile, cats seem to run completely wild. There are tons of cats wandering our neighborhood. We saw three of them on our nightly family walk today. There is one the kids have nicknamed “Blackster” who follows James to school almost daily. I have to chase several of them out of our yard regularly so they don’t attack the two terrified fish in our little pond. There was even one that was bold enough to walk into our house. [singlepic id=609 w=320 h=240 float=left]All of these cats belong to families in the area, but they wander around at all hours of the day and night. There is no one cleaning up after the cats either, no “Robicat” stations to be found. And they leave their business wherever they please, including in my yard. One of Henry’s favorite things to ask me outside is, “Mama, did you step in cat poop?”

And the horses are even more blatant about it. There are a couple of horses that people ride around here. I often hear the clippity-clop of their daily rounds. And when a horse leaves its business in the middle of the road, it is no joke. So I can’t help but wonder as I pass Robidog stations while swerving around horse poop and tiptoeing around cat poop, isn’t this a double standard?