Emily went to her first birthday party this week. Emily and James have had friends here in Switzerland since the day we arrived. There were kids playing outside on our street, and instantly they became friends. They speak German to the other kids, though not at a very high level. But it doesn’t really matter… they’re kids. They just ride bikes together, or play with toys, and *bang* they’ve made a friend.
And now they both go to school where there are plenty of other kids to play with and befriend, so that after only two weeks, Emily was invited to a party.
With adults, it’s completely different. Once you are out of college, making friends, even in my home country, isn’t easy. And Swiss people are notorious for sticking with their childhood friends. Introducing any new friends to their social group takes an extremely long time (i.e. longer than the year we are here). On top of that, the language barrier is a much bigger deal for adults. I can get along in a conversation okay, but I get lost fairly quickly once we are past the basic introductions. And, with adults, talking is extremely important if you want to get to know someone. There is no playing or school-like environment that brings people together. Adults don’t really *do* much, except sit around and talk. So, if you can’t talk very well, it’s kind of a problem.
The other night, Joe and I were watching Seinfeld and there was a bit about this very topic. It was good to laugh about it. But seriously, I’m not sure we’ll get invited to anything the entire year – at least not by anyone who doesn’t speak English.
Sarah, It’s wonderful to see the kids making friends. You are correct, it is more difficult for adults with a different language. Just don’t ever take it personally and just keep that great smile going. It will win friends. Love ML